Day 6 (in the mix!)

Day 5, Day 6 they're beginning to happen faster than I realize. Today, just now, I had a great experience with my spine during the lessons. When I am to lift my head with my hands and arms while pressing my lower back to the ground (with knees up, feet on ground near coccyx): I breath deep on the arch up raising my belly, I get air all the way down to the belly, breathing in a full breath, then I slowly release the air as my head, hands and arms rise, air begins coming out from the top of my neck, down the neck down each vertebrae to the middle of my back, now my lower back is closer to the floor and starts touching down from the top of my lower back to the bottom until the end where I exhale the last bit of breath, then I receive it again, in the belly as my head lowers and my back begins to arch again, air fills up from the belly on up but it is always a constant flow to the belly from the mouth until the belly is full of air, ah, again, back down releasing the air from the top...mmmm, that's the ticket.

The fact that each vertebra can even touch the ground one at a time is significant and feels wonderful. The essence of each connection is allowed to ground.

Day 5 (in the thrive)

Day 5, Lesson 5 I felt my left leg release. I always thought that it was my right leg that was too loose, but it was that my left leg was constantly held in a spasm. After doing some of the leg lengthening exercises, I lay to sense my body, my muscles, my inside and I noticed that I was holding my left leg in an upright position. I then consciously let go of the leg, and for the first time my left leg lay almost like my right leg when I lay down on my back. My right foot has always pivoted to the side in resting position, where as my left foot was more upright. I have felt what it is to relax it!

Day 4 (is sore!)

Perhaps parts of my body are sore because when Thomas Hanna writes in "Somatics" about sensing the body, "Try to make this movement as pleasurable as possible--like a child, lazily stretching. Or like a cat." I go for it, I stretch, I feel the deep movement in my body, I breath with it, I release, tingle, open and ahhhhh feel so good doing the stretches.

Sometimes he says to move the knees toward the head and the head toward the knees while I am exhaling and pressing my lower back into the ground. My knees and head are not far from each other and can touch. I've always been flexible, but this allows me to look deeper into the journey of the stretch, I notice where my shoulders are, how much I am pressing my back into the ground and where my hips are, how I can feel better doing this stretch, where it feels if I do it slightly differently, really sensing my body and my muscles in my back.

This is a very large gist of Somatics, this sensing part, to sense ourselves is a gift that we all have, we just don't give it time, patience and consciousness so often during this rat race life that we face in our culture. That's another thread.

But for me, it's definitely been a time I've been looking for to clear my plate enough and to create a sanctuary for myself so that I get down to healing my spine. I know it's possible and maybe not that hard.

When I got the Milwaukee brace at age 15, I would lie in bed feeling my spine straighten along the piece of plastic border that allows the brace to unvelcro in the back of it. I would breath deeply and visualize it being straight. My mother taught me that one and also I knew it deep inside me.

The next time I went to the doctor for an x-ray (only a couple to a few months after bracing), my spine was straight.

The doctor said "that's impossible, that can't happen, the brace doesn't do that, it'll go back to 'normal' (meaning crooked) again."

With that knowledge and that let down from a doctor who couldn't see a "miracle" or just the relaxation and persistence of mind within body, I let my little teen head be filled with his ideas and I rejected all this "witchcraft" of healing thyself!

Since then, I knew it was true, I could always find a time and space to heal myself. I used to say mind rhymes (affirmations), but there wasn't the true spirit of belief behind them, nor responsibility to care for myself.

It's been MOOOOOONNS!! Finally, I have a home, a sanctuary, steady work, regularity, a place to release, adjust, be in tune with myself and support from my friends and family.

May I continue to do this for the next 24 days, my spine already feels pretty straight at day 4, it's just the opening up of my guts that have been sitting in this wacky position for 23 years - that's where it's sore. In that gaping crevice of no body space that needs to be filled with my body, my bones and my guts.

See the pictures where my right rib looks all funky? Below that, the empty gap, that's where my guts are now filling in -- I believe!

Bending Spine

Here I am bending over with the typical scoliosis bend check, this is a way to detect if one has it. This is the way I was screened when I was in 8th grade, the teacher (the nurses ran out of time with so many kids to screen) didn't see anything, but I thought I had it and insisted on going to the doctor, they x-rayed me and sure enough, I had it a little. It progressed quite a bit before I got the Milwaukee brace, with bars up the sides of my neck and a plastic cast around my body that I'd unscrew and velcro off for showers and swimming.

To check your spine take off shirt, bend over, and have someone review the spine. With scoliosis a deformity in the rib cage is noticeable - notice how one side of my back is higher than the other? It's scoliosis.

I call the left side "the hump" and that's where pain centers around "the spot" right next to my spine, I'd like to know which vertebrae that is, not successful in counting myself just yet....

Stretching spine

Here I am doing a Yoga stretch with my legs almost straight (care for the knees), my hands to my toes, my spine straightened and my head up -- this is when my spine feels rather straight, now I know how it's currently looking. This was taken after Day 2 of these excercises. I am sure if I were 15 years old, I'd already see a difference, I certainly can feel it.

Day 3

Ik zal Engels praten omdat het is de taal ik weet best.

Just did day 3 of my 4 somatic lessons.

During lesson three I felt "that spot" in the center of my spine tingle. That spot is the spot that I could feel the center of the ache and the place I would ask people to press upon or that I would press upon to release tension, and that I visualize releasing. Now these excercises are doing what my mind and the little body touch I receive has done minimally.

It is late, my typing is slow, but woah, my back feels good, feels straight, feels flexible. Yum.

This good time for me to do these excercises, late at night when the next thing I do is sleep. Hopefully, I will be able to continue this along with a strong pace of work on the computer for the web design jobs I currently have happening.

This is the dream, good work, health and spine loving. Ahhhh.

This shall now be my official blog for my spine healing.
It's nice to have this space connected to my Dad, this space is inspired by his blogspot space that speaks of him receiving his pension from his country. I hope he also tracks his progress on his walking strategy and marathons. I would like to scan in and make a PDF of the somatic excercises that are for walking.

Today, my Mom took pictures of my back. I saw the change my back has had as I get older. I could feel the difference, but now I see how it has shaped my back. My right ribs are small and indented, my left ribs are large and to the right. "The hump" surrounds "the spot" that is now alleviating....

Perhaps I will post a picture or two and then in 4 weeks of doing this training, I will take more photos. I feel my body positioning and sense of holding my body's muscles will change drastically as well as the flexibility. But 20 years of scoliosis with an S curve has formed my innards - my lungs, my heart, my stomach, my intestines and everything in between, that may take some time to also shift. I feel chiropractic work will be helpful, some massage too.

Goodnight. Thinking of Dad flying to Europe to visit Oma and family.

Hallo Wereld!

Het voelt verschillend weneer ik schrijven in Nederlands. Het is de taal van mijn vader en moeder en Oma en tante en om en nichtje en neef. Weneer ik zeggen "Hallo Wereld" ik voel meer optimistisch, bijna alles de andere "e" ging goed met de lichaam. A-um.

Ik studieeren de geluid van mijn stem binnen mijn licham en buiten weneer ik tijd hebt. Ik ook studieren een beetje van de gezondheid, en nu ga ik met Somatics voor mijn rug. Mijn rug heeft niet zo goed gevoelden voor 23 jaaren, maar denk ik daat ik kan iets met het doen nog. Voor deze heb ik gewerken naar. Ik nu heb alles op zijn plaats. Ik heb voor twee dagen deze exercises gedaan en ik reeds voel de verschil. Mijn rug voeld hoe het was mischien 4 jaaren terug, nu moet ik ga 23 jaaren terug en daarna begin zonder samentrekking op de rug.

Okee, ga ik werk om dat ik kan mijn rug excercises wier doen van avond. De foto je zien van mijn X-RAY was weneer ik 18 was of zo iets. Ik heb niet naar de Doctor gegaan sinds voor het, en de volgende keer ik ga, het zal meer rechtstreeks zijn! Wens me een gellukig tijd - dank je wel.

Ik ben alles mijn Oma!! Ik kan het doen, ik kan een heel goed levetijd heb voor een lange tijd -- alles mijn Oma. Bedankt Oma voor de inspiratie van jou en ik zal zie je!